I made homemade bread for the first time last week, and it made me feel like such a grown-up woman. Mondays are now my day for catching up on homemaking duties, and for things that make me feel relaxed and happy. And I've found that those two overlap quite a bit. I love being a woman, and I believe part of my divine nature as a woman is an innate desire to care for a home and family. I get a lot of joy out of things like neat stacks of folded laundry, a clean and comfortable home, or pulling off a great meal. Taking one day off each week was such a good decision for me. My life finally feels like it's in balance.
Yesterday I stayed busy all day. I did laundry, cleaned, grocery shopped, went to Costco, made bread (again. it's too fun.), wrote in my journal, visited a friend, and caught up with my mom on the phone. Oh and of course watched The Bachelor finale. (Oh, guilty pleasure.)
I'm looking forward to an early morning flight to Utah on Thursday. I scheduled this trip in early January in a fit of post-Christmas-vacation homesickness. That has since passed, but I'm still so excited for the visit home. I can't wait to squeeze my nieces and nephews, chat with my family (without burning through giant chunks of cell minutes), eat out at old favorites and new places, catch up with SmilePerfect ladies and other friends, and throw an awesome baby shower for sister-in-law Michelle.
I have been so happy with life lately. I feel content where I am and what I'm doing. I love living in New York. I love the energy and unique beauty and life of the city. It envelops you, it sucks you in and you become part of this larger entity, this almost living, breathing thing that is New York. There's no place like it. I love being part of it.
On Sunday I looked out the bus window at the brownstones and old churches in Harlem on the way to church and tried to imagine driving away from here in a U-Haul knowing we weren't coming back. It made me sad to imagine that day! It will be hard to leave this place and our experiences and memories and friends behind. We used to say "a couple years," when asked how long we'd be here, but we're already coming up on the year mark and I don't feel even close to halfway done. Don't worry, family, we're not going to be here forever, but we definitely love it here and are in no hurry to leave.
And I think that's good. It's good to be content with life. I'm so much happier when I'm not looking for some change that will supposedly bring happiness. This is the time in our life to live in New York, this is the only shot we get at the present, and I really want to live it. It feels good to be content with the present. I love my family and I still feel so connected to them. I don't feel like I need to move closer to family in order to be happy anymore. And it feels really good to be happy with my life, exactly as it is today.
Regular trips home can't hurt, though!
20 comments:
Oh Angie, I loved this!
Your bread turned out beautifully.
I love everything that you said about your love for New York City. I feel the same way. Let me just tell you, the day that I left New York was by far one the saddest days of my entire life. I'm so glad that you've learned to love it because I want so badly for you to cherish each and every moment that you have while you're there.
As for what you said about New York being this larger entity- I know exactly what you mean. It's such a hard thing to describe. I kind of think of New York as a person. Sounds weird, I know, but I have this crazy habit of personifying everything. New York was so, so good to me. It is full of so much character, and so much history, and so much goodness. I think it has something very special and unique to offer to every person who opens up his or her heart. New York will always hold a special place in mine.
I am so happy that you're at a happy place in your life. That's always so hard, to look at what you already have and to learn to love it. I think there's something beautiful to be learned from each and every stage of our lives. Sometimes we learn the lessons as it's all happening, and sometimes it doesn't make sense until years later. I think the important thing is that we learn it eventually.
Dear goodness, this is so long. How does this always happen to me? Ok, let me wrap this thing up. I already said this, but I am truly happy that you are happy. And I am very happy that you get to go to Utah very soon! So exciting.
That is awesome Angie! I am so happy for you!
As Morgan said, driving away from NYC was one of the saddest moments of my life too. I only wish we'd been able to stay for longer, but I know we're where we're supposed to be. Just enjoy for as long as you get to be there because it will change you forever. And nothing will ever compare! We're constantly talking about NY and all the things we loved. Husband really wants to try for a residency there but we'll see about that. I'd love to go back but doing it with kids the second time around would be a whole new ballgame!
I'm so impressed with your bread making. I've never made it before either! It's so intimidating.
And yay for Utah trips! Maybe we'll run into each other at Cafe Rio or something! ;) (Actually we have Cafe Rio here in Vegas. I'm dying for a sandwich from Kneaders!)
I think much of life is learning to love where you are at, right now. I am guilty of constantly replaying in my head what I need to do for that day, that week, a year, thinking I'm looking forward to the next goal where things will be better. You are a great example of this! New York sounds a-maz-ing, I can't wait to come!
PS Hel-lo how funny is it that Jake will be on Dancing with the Stars? Him +awkward dancing + V-trash Vienna cheering him on in the audience = me actually watching the show and voting for him to keep up the entertainment.
What a great feeling. I am definitely not content and that is a good thing to work toward.
Angie. That is the sweetest post. I really enjoyed it, and I can totally agree. I feel like for the last few years I've been running hard to get some place, never knew where, just to THE place. But I feel like I've finally arrived. I'm content and so happy to just be living.
I'm so happy to live in this beautiful city and I'm so happy to have you and Klane as friends.
Have a great time in Utah. New York will miss you. But the following weekend, we're having a camera date!! Get ready F-stops and other camera-y things!!
I love this! You're so awesome. Your bread looks amazing! I too love being a woman. And I'm glad you've found balance. That is so important. I felt like I had lost that a couple years ago and so I made some changes and I love having a well-rounded life now. I'm glad you're so content in NY. You guys are so great!
Ang- I NEED this recipe! It looks beautiful and soooo yummy. Can I get it from you? I am glad you are coming home for Michelles shower! Love your blog, it always seems to brighten my day!!!!
What a wonderful post! You said so many of the things I have been thinking about lately. Sometimes I feel guilty that I feel so content where I am. Especially since I am sooo far away from family, but it's not forever. It's just for a little while. You make me want to live in New York. Maybe we should apartment swap! So happy that you are happy! And well done on the bread....wow!
Wow...what a beautiful post. I am so impressed by your appreciation of wife-hood and your role as homemaker. It's inspiring! I am also impressed by your willingness to enjoy the here and now without looking forward to the future too much. I always struggle with that. I wish I had as good of an attitude about my life RIGHT NOW as you have! You are amazing!
I love everything about this post. Well, I love the bread the most - it was sooooo good! So good! Thank you.
Angie, I'm so glad you're here for me. I'm not completely with you right now on loving New York. I do like it a whole lot, but it's hard for me right now. BUT you inspire me to try a bit harder, even when it's too cold to take the kids to the park. Hello! We live in New York City!
I love you I love you!
You have the best darn attitude and I need to take a lesson from you! Perhaps this will inspire me to blog today. Your bread looks amazing so props to you.
Hooray for Angie!! I am so happy for you and how well you are doing. You are my Hero and yes I agree with all you have written here. Happiness is found in all those little moments you create in your home with your husband and kids. I love being a wife and mom and I love homemaking. What a joy and how lucky I feel to be able to do it.
You are an awesome woman girl! You inspire me to be more domestic and to actually find joy in laundry-who woulda thought?! You are a good example to me of finding balance in life and joy in homemaking!
Also--did you know that Chelsea is on a mission?! Jess and I just figured this out today!
I love this! It is so true for me too that the things that bring me the sweet joys of life are just the simple accomplishments around my home. Thanks also for your nice comments on my blog!
Your bread looks so yummy! I actually made homemade bread for the first time last week too! I inherited a bread maker from Jared's parents and have been having a lot of fun! I will have to try that white bread recipe.
I love this post! It reminds me of... your 2010 THEME!
John Lennon once said, "How can I go forward when I don't know which way I'm facing?" (Or something very close to that.) The point is, you have discovered how much you love NYC and this stage of your life. You are living in the moment and feeling content. You are moving forward. High five!
You really inspired people out there in the bogging world! Way to be!!
I check your blog almost every day because you post so many "I CAN DO THIS" type entries and I love them because I find myself struggling for balance so many times. We as women are pulled so many different ways at the same time and I appreciate your perspective!
YAY for your trip home tomorrow, I hope to come to Michelle's shower and visit!
Going home is the best!! Your bread really looks amazing i just want to eat it right off the screen!
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